3 Writing Mistakes that Stop Customers from Buying Your Product

If your business site features an online store, you’ll want to be sure your writing is selling your products — not getting in the way. Here are three common mistakes to avoid when writing product descriptions:

1. Too much jargon, not enough meaning

It’s natural to want to mention every technical detail about how your product is built, what it’s made of, and what it can do. But remember, a product description is not really about the product — it’s about the customer buying the product. Always be asking yourself: Who buys this? Why? What specific void does it fill? What problem does it solve?

Your job is to make your customer want what you’re selling. Use your product description to provide a few major, important specifics in the form of a scenario that shows how your product will work in a particular (but at the same time, typical) situation.

For example:

This light-weight, insulated, compressible layering piece is warm enough to wear above the tree line, yet fitted enough to slip under our Tech Vest, Waterproof Shell or Alpine Parka. The water-resistent, 100% polyester outer layer will keep you dry in light rain or flurries. Wicking liner will keep you cool when on the move. Packs into its own pocket for easy stowaway, with a plastic clip for hooking to your belt loop or pack.

Unless your customers are extremely technical, save the detailed specs about construction and materials for your “Details” link. Customers with more knowledge can opt to review this info if they need it to make a decision. For everyone else, an overview is probably tantalizing enough to motivate an emotional buy (or at least a bookmark).

2. Generic adjectives (“weak words”)

One of my elementary school teachers named these “weak words,” and you should avoid them. Weak words are over-used and unspecific. They fail to paint a picture in the reader’s mind. 99% of the time, you can strike them from your writing and not notice a difference in meaning.

How do you know if you’re using a weak word? Close your eyes and say the word out loud to yourself. See anything vivid and specific in your mind? If the word doesn’t create an association for you, it’s probably not doing it for your customer, either.

A few weak words you’ll want to avoid: amazing, incredible, outrageous, super, big, large, small, nice, cool. These aren’t bad words, but on their own they’re not telling the customer anything useful.

Example: Let’s pretend you’re shopping online for a new car and the manufacturer’s description says, “This car is big enough for all your needs!”. Wouldn’t you want to know, “How big, exactly?”

Maybe things would be clearer if the copy said:

This four-door, four seat sedan has an extra foot of head room, two under-seat storage compartments in the back, and a trunk big enough to carry sixteen overstuffed, reusable grocery bags (we counted!).

3. Stumbling blocks on the way to the sale

You’ve written a compelling product description, positioned your product in the customer’s mind, and replaced weak words with specifics. So why isn’t anyone buying?

There could be many reasons. But before you do a major analysis of your business, check your website for simple oversights that might slow shoppers down on their way to Checkout.

For example: If you sell clothing, is your size chart one easy click away from your product page? How about your return policy? Is it easy for customers to do a dry run so they can see how much Shipping & Handling will add to their final cost? Do you offer testimonials? How about customer reviews?

Make sure there’s nothing you’ve overlooked. Offering people what they expect to see takes a lot of anxiety out of the shopping process. Remember, your job is two-part: to create an itch to buy your product; and then to make it as easy as possible for people to buy it from you.